"In the end, we're all just walking each other home."
My name is Sam Pascoe. I was born in 1951 and grew up in the Northern Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C. My dad was a doctor, my mom was a nurse–then a stay-at-home mom–then a nurse again after my dad died when I was in high school. I have two younger brothers. I married Beth in 1982 while I was in grad school. We have three grown sons. (BTW, that is our grandchild, the lovely Peyton, peeping up over the bottom of our picture above.)
We moved to Jacksonville in 1985 so I could take a job as the assistant pastor in a church. I went on to pastor that church for over 20 years.
I am an ordained minister in the Church of England and I have served as a pastor for most of my life. I recently retired from full-time ministry but I still teach a few classes at Gordon-Conwell Seminary and The Ridley Institute in History and Theology.
I also work with Beth, primarily in the areas of sex-addiction and affair recovery. Unfortunately, I have some personal experience in both of those two areas. For most of my life, I struggled with what I now know was a compulsive and unhealthy need for love and affirmation. While outwardly I was a successful pastor, husband, and father, I was secretly struggling with addictions to approval, prestige, popularity, and pornography. Eventually, in 2007, I had an affair.
Because I was a prominent clergyman at the time in Jacksonville, Florida, my failure was splashed across the evening news and the front page of the newspaper.
My foolish and selfish act had tragic consequences not only for my family (we lost our home and my income) but also for many other innocent victims--my affair partner, the church I had served for over 20 years, my colleagues, not to mention the cause of Christ. If it were not for my strong, wise, and faithful wife and my loving and forgiving children, it would have cost me my marriage and family. All infidelity is tragic and mine was no exception.
I learned a great deal from my failures. Pain is a powerful motivator and teacher.
My wife and I entered a long period (years) of hard work. Good friends, good counseling, and lots of concentrated effort paid off. Now, our marriage and our family are stronger than ever.
My life experience as both a pastor and as a man has shown me that there are no easy answers and no quick fixes. But, I have also learned that God is good, that there can be healing and forgiveness, and that a wise and compassionate guide can make all the difference.
In addition to my own painful experiences, I have spent years learning about what went wrong, how to recognize and identify what went wrong, and how to fix what went wrong. Over the years, Beth and I have helped hundreds of individuals and couples find forgiveness, health, healing, and hope.
If you need such a companion on your journey, I am always ready to go for a walk.
I have pastored churches large (1,200) and small (12) for over three decades. In that context, I have dealt with issues of conflict, suicide, death, birth, affairs, loneliness, depression, anger, and every affliction known to humankind. For over ten years, my wife and I have counseled individuals and couples through some of the worst experiences one can imagine. My own experiences have taught me that simplistic answers and vague platitudes don't work. I'm ready to listen to you, work with you, walk with you, and even weep with you.
George Mason University, B.A. (Philosophy)
George Mason University, M.Ed.
Virginia Theological Seminary, M.Div.
Reform Theological Seminary, D. Min.
International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, Certification as Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional Supervisor (PSAP-S)
Professional Education Systems Institute Certification in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
Advanced Training in EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy)
I know everyone is busy so I try to make myself available on the "edges" of your day. Therefore, I am available from 7am to 8pm by appointment
I operate using a fee for service model. I charge $100 for a 59 minute "hour" and I offer a "sliding scale" for those with a demonstrable financial need. I do not take insurance.
The best ways to reach me are by phone, text, or email. My only phone is my cell phone and I answer it personally. All conversations are confidential. You can text me at that same number or send me an email. I will usually get back to you within a few hours.
405 N. Washington St. #101
World Baptist Alliance Building
Falls Church, VA 22046