Marriage is Like Football: Defensive Backs
We are continuing our series on how married life is like football. We are looking at each position to see what we can learn about how our actions can change the game. Today, we look at Defensive Backs. These are usually the smallest, fastest, and most agile players on the field. They have to be because it is their job to react.
They are the last line of defense and must quickly discern where threats have broken through earlier defenses. They must constantly adjust their moves to match those of their opponent. They must be sensitive to even the slightest gesture or hint of movement by the Wide Receivers. They must become students of the people they are trying to cover.
Perhaps their most important skill is remembering what to remember and quickly forgetting the rest. Here is the reason: When Defensive Backs make mistakes, the results can be sever
e because they are often the last line of defense. Thus, their mistakes tend to be very obvious and very consequential, often leading to the other team scoring or making big gains.
Thus, Defensive Backs need to remember what they did wrong so they won’t do it again, but they also need to disconnect that important learning from the emotional blow of, well, having blown it and, perhaps, let the team down.
What can we learn from this? To learn from our mistakes so we don’t keep repeating the same costly errors but also to be able to move on and focus on the future, not the past. It does no one any good for the Defensive Back to dwell on his error, get depressed, feel ashamed for having failed, keep apologizing, etc. The game (life) goes on and his team (your partner) needs you to have your head in the game that is before you, not the game that is behind you.
Are you dwelling on, brooding over, fixated upon a past mistake—even a big one? What would it take to learn from it and move on? On the other hand, if your partner was the one who made a huge mistake, are you constantly reminding them of it? Are you the one who is unwilling to move on? How can you and your partner work as a team to learn from the mistake, put it in the past, restructure your life together to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and move on?
Of course, it would be nice if the problems never get that far to begin with. That is where Linebackers come in . . . next time.